She was a working mother and I am too.. so what?

It's Friday, But feels like a Monday! The youngest woke up feeling under the weather, and mom woke up with a very heavy feeling body and almost feels like a mac truck run her over. Of course, I knew this was coming as I've felt it for a few days. This morning though, it hit. Whatever, the world doesn't stop for a mother. Did I mention that I am taking all FOUR kids to the doctors office today for well child checks? Mom hasn't felt quite up for the challenge since the last one come. I'm crossing my fingers they behave like the children I know they are. I believe in them, that's half the battle.

I also have a short work shift scheduled this evening and have come to realize I have no sitter for tonight! I had three lined up, and not one of them is available. Am I mad at them? No. Not at all. I'm hurt by one of them. The one that's my mother. I texted her about having no sitter and just how the morning was going. Never once did I ask her to babysit as I had already let her off the hook yesterday! Our conversation led to being called 'money hungry' because I choose to work for my children. It led to her accusing me of pretty much saying I had a bad childhood and she was poor. That is never how I have felt. My mother was a single mom of 3 children. She worked 2 jobs at a time to provide for us. We never wanted or needed for anything. She took damn good care of us. For a matter of fact, I have no memory of my childhood being 'oh.. we can't afford that'. She was a working mother and I am too.. So what?

I played every sport I wanted, I was in girl scouts. She took us to do fun things.. some of those adventures I have started with my kids. We never went hungry or cold. Yes, looking back, I know my mom struggled a bit to provide for us but she NEVER showed it. As a child and as an adult, I have never looked down on my childhood. I loved my childhood and brag about it constantly. When people mention the kind of parent I am, I always tell them I learned from my mother. She was a hard worker and I knew from a young age, I wanted to be like her. She never realized and probably still don't realize that I watched every move she made. I saw the sacrifice and long hard hours she worked, for us. For her children. How she gave us 110% and never took for herself. I wanted to be like that.

So this morning when she called me money hungry, it hurt. It hurt a lot. It constantly hurts because she has never told me she's proud of me. I don't recall ever having her tell me that I'm a good mother or doing a good job with these kids. Other people do, not her. She has such a problem with me working and I just want her to acknowledge that I'm like her. That I don't depend on someone else to raise my kids. I want her to be proud that I follow in her footsteps and have the drive. I want her to be proud that I'm a working mother, just like her. I don't work to 'one up' her or to give them a 'better' life than I had. I work because it helps to have extra money. It's how the world works.

So Mom, I'm proud of everything you ever have done for me, even if you aren't of me.