It's Not That Bad, I'm Just A Whine Ass

  If you clicked the post, I feel sorry for you. I'm going to complain a bunch about minor things that really don't add up to most people. To someone like me, it stresses me beyond what I can explain. Let's start with its winter right now and about 7 degrees out. I have Raynaud's which means winters are especially hard on me. My feet go numb at any given time, turn white and feel almost like I have frost bite. It can last minutes or hours. Lately, for me.. It's an every day thing! I am cold. Day in and day out, I freeze even with layers of socks and a blanket. 

 Secondly, I am tired. So very tired lately. I feel old saying that. Winter alone does me in. Anyone who suffers from depression knows this time of year is generally the hardest. I could sleep, forever. To the point I am passing out at 8 nights that my schedule allows. I'm tired because I have 4 toddlers at my heels at any given moment. (yes, even when I'm sleeping someone comes to the bed asking for mommy in their tiny voice.) I'm tired because my weeks are FULL and starting to just be one long day turning into a long week and so fourth. I knew that the things I am taking on are to better myself, my family and to keep my children active and interested in different things. I know it's not that bad, I'm just a whine ass and this is the perfect spot to get that frustration out. Also because I'm pretty sure my husband gets tired of me complaining.

Here's what this week looks like for me. Which is why I complain of being tired. Sunday, I spent the day getting groceries which ended up being an ALL day thing with a toddler in tow. Yesterday, I spent over two hours at our local adult education center doing testing for placement so they'll help me get into a Nursing Program. Two hours of reading and math. Let me tell you, I forgot how much I hate math. Also, I'm about 70% sure that I fucked those bubble answers up and started putting answers in the wrong bubble. Even with that thought in the back of my head, I guess I didn't do as bad as I thought. Now, I have to go do the Accuplacer test and see about financial aid. Here we are on Tuesday. Tonight, I spend almost 2 hours at class to help 'look' better on my college applications. With a pending snow storm. YAY ME. Tomorrow it's the evening shift for mom. 3-11. Thursday, I have an empty schedule, but ya know how it goes. As mom, that day is catch up on the housework, chores and errands. Friday is doctor visits for kids and half a work shift. Saturday is B mans first game and then another shift for mom. Did I mention that I'm having my husband work me to the bone almost nightly with work outs so that I can keep myself on track with my goal of getting healthier? So yes, I am complaining of being tired.

             Now that I've got the complaining out of the way, I'll remind you of the same thing I remind myself. It's a bad day, not a bad life. In fact, I don't really have bad days lately either. I stress over little things and I do it to myself. I love being a wife and mother. I look forward to nights Bentley plays soccer, even if they're tired and grumpy from the car ride home at 6. Classes suck, that's part of the journey. I know the end result is a career I'm happy with and a better future for my tiny humans. I like my job, better than like actually. I love my job. I love my work place. It brings me joy to help a generation older than me. One that even though I'm helping them, help me. I love my husband pushing me when I don't have the drive to keep pushing. I'm thankful for a busy schedule because it means we're being productive and getting somewhere. I just need to be a whine ass from time to time.